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In
this new approach to understanding the impact of grief, Susan A. Berger goes
beyond the commonly held theories of stages of grief with a new typology for
self-awareness and personal growth. She
offers practical advice for healing from a major loss in this presentation of
five basic ways, or types, of grieving. These five types describe how different
people respond to a major loss.
The types are:
- Nomads,
who have not yet resolved their grief and don’t often understand how their loss
has affected their lives - Memorialists,
who are committed to preserving the memory of their loved ones by creating
concrete memorials and rituals to honor them - Normalizers,
who are committed to re-creating a sense of family and community - Activists,
who focus on helping other people who are dealing with the same disease or issues
that caused their loved one’s death - Seekers,
who adopt religious, philosophical, or spiritual beliefs to create meaning in
their lives
Drawing on research results and anecdotes
from working with the bereaved over the past ten years, Berger examines how a
person’s worldview is affected after a major loss. According to her findings, people
experience significant changes in their sense of mortality, their values and
priorities, their perception of and orientation toward time, and the manner in
which they “fit” in society. The five types of grieving, she finds, reflect the
choices people make in their efforts to adapt to dramatic life changes.
By identifying with one of the types,
readers who have suffered a recent loss—or whose lives have been shaped by an early
loss—find ways of understanding the impact of the loss and of living more
fully.
- Sales Rank: #852348 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-03-08
- Released on: 2011-03-08
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
“Author Susan A. Berger offers a fascinating new view of what happens to people who lose loved ones. The Five Ways We Grieve helps us to discover who we have become in order to give our lives meaning and purpose.”—Patriot Ledger
“Offers a fresh new approach to understanding and coping with the major losses every human being experiences. Dr. Susan A. Berger gives bereaved people a useful tool for interpreting their responses to a loss and creating a new normal for their lives.”—Bob Deits, author of Life after Loss
“A treasure trove of penetrating insights. Dr. Susan A. Berger’s lucid and thoughtfully researched writing contains personal experiences, clinical examples, and penetrating questions to ponder. Although she takes us deeply into the realm of human torment, the essential message is one of hope as she assists us in transforming tragedy into growth. Dr. Berger will bring needed solace to many grieving hearts.”—Rabbi Earl A. Grollman, DHL, DD, author of Living When a Loved One Has Died
“This book offers hope with a plan—in the form of new ways to recognize, define, and focus on our changed identity and worldview after loss. As a child therapist specializing in illness and loss, I found this book immediately helpful.”—Sallie A. Sanborn, MS, child therapist and contributor to The Goldfish Went on Vacation
About the Author
Susan A. Berger, EdD, LICSW, counsels people who are confronting significant loss and other life changes. She also trains professionals in using her unique approach to helping the bereaved. She has twenty-five years’ experience in the health and mental health fields as a researcher, practitioner, administrator, and consultant in both Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.
She lectures widely in professional healthcare, business, government, and university settings. She has held faculty appointments at three colleges, teaching courses in human behavior and psychology. She has also served as a hospice volunteer. Dr. Berger is herself a survivor of early parental loss.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Helped Me After Death of Husband
By Lise S. Beane
I really liked this book, because it gave me valuable insights into my relationships following the death of my husband. I had been in love with my husband and married for 25 years. After he died suddenly, I waited a few years and then began dating again. Each time I had a date, I was secretly "looking to get back to normal" (as the book explained) It is one of the ways we grieve. For me "normal" was being in love and being married 24/7.
That is just too much to expect and too much responsibility to put on a simple date. When I realized I was doing this in my relationships, I was able to back off, relax and enjoy them more. Now I have been dating a wonderful man for the last year and we may or may not get married. The important thing is that I am really enjoying his company and we make each other happy - enough for now.
This book not only helped save me, it helped save my future relationships.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Well worth the read
By Rachel Weeks
Whether or not you have lost someone close to you, there are important and valuable messages throughout the book of how people deal with loss. It's a thoughtful, well-written account not only of the author's personal story of loss, but the stories of men, women, children, sisters, brothers, grandparents - all who have experienced loss and dealt with it in different ways. This book provides an understanding for anyone who has experienced or knows anyone who has experienced a loss in their life. The book is well worth the read.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A Gem of a Book
By Thomas A. Welch
This work assembled by Dr. Berger is a gem among bereavement guides. Given that we are all touched by loss, those who are actively grieving the death of a loved one, as well as those providing counseling and support can benefit from the wisdom and direction contained in this book. For, as Susan Berger points out, griever and counselor alike are both forever in the process of resolving loss.
Moving through the pages of The Five Ways We Grieve is like sitting with a dear friend who warmly unfolds for us the mystery and complexity of the devastating event and resultant turmoil that has stopped our life as we have known it. Dr. Berger does not exempt herself as she puts before us her own story of loss that prompted the years of personal discernment and redefinition that resulted in this valuable collection of insights.
Do not anticipate handholding sessions as the chapters progress. Throughout the book we are all challenged to go deep inside to define how we see ourselves reshaped by loss. We are asked to find ourselves among her five styles of grieving, and what steps we are prepared to take to move our lives forward to a meaningful and hope-filled place.
I find that Dr. Berger's insights and confronting questions are equally valuable in assisting us to move through the non-death related losses that we necessarily encounter as they alter how we see ourselves and the world around us.
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